A headstone for Laila

I was worried that we would not get Laila's headstone in time for her birthday.  We went to visit the grave on Wed. (her birthday) and the stone was not there and I was slightly disappointed.  But then we got a message later saying that they had installed the headstone, probably some time after we visited the grave.  So even though we didn't know it, she did get her headstone for her birthday.

We went to see it today.  I'm very happy with how it turned out.  I'd rather not have to choose a headstone at all but since I don't have a choice, I'm happy with the one we had made for her.

We wanted to incorporate both butterflies and rainbows in the headstone.  The rainbows remind us of the weeks and months following Laila's death.  Each day we were blessed to see rainbows, sometimes multiple rainbows.  We not only saw them outside but saw them reflected in our house.  The appearance of them was comforting and while I have no idea if they were a message from God or from Laila, they brought us peace.

The butterflies remind us of a Family Home Evening lesson we had weeks before Laila was born.  We were anticipating a lot of changes to occur in our family in the coming months (Laila's birth, our move to Colorado, and Isaac starting kindergarten) and wanted to help the boys understand how change isn't always bad, even if it is hard sometimes.

We set them down and watched videos of butterflies coming out of their cocoons.  We talked about how it's a struggle to get out but that the struggle helps their wings get stronger and if we were to assist them in getting out before they were ready, we would hinder their ability to develop strong wings.


We discussed how they start out as a caterpillar and eventually change into something else--something beautiful.

Then we told the boys that while sometimes we go through trials and have things we have to struggle through, those trials can help us be stronger and help us be something even better than what we started out as.  We talked about all the changes our family would have to go through in the coming months and how those changes could be good for our family.

Then of course, Laila died just a few short months later and now that Family Home Evening seems even more appropriate.  I would say that we are still very much in the stage of struggling to get out of the cocoon but my hope is that in the end we will find our family stronger and more beautiful than we were before.