Thursday, October 06, 2011

Random stuff

Ever since Laila died, all of us have irrational thoughts about death. I already wrote about Will and his challenge at night sometimes thinking his brothers are dead while they sleep. He's not the only one with problems like this. Of course, when Mike and I go to check on the boys at night we always have this brief thought, "Are they alive?"

The other time we have these thoughts are when we are not together for awhile. While Mike attended the Priesthood session, the boys and I went to a birthday party at a park. Our GPS isn't working very well so I was worried I wouldn't be able to figure out the way home. Mike knew this and worried about me. During a good portion of the Priesthood session Mike kept getting distracted by thoughts of, "What if they all got in a crash and died?"

Then last night, Mike had to be somewhere at 7:00. I assumed his meeting would be an hour tops. Two hours later he wasn't home yet and I started getting worried. So I called him and he said he was on his way home in a few minutes. I fell asleep at 10 and at 10:30 I got up and discovered he was not home yet! Of course thoughts of him dying a gruesome death came rushing through my mind. At 10:45 he came in and rather than being happy to see him I was so upset--something he knows very well about me--I kind of have a problem showing anger instead of fear or sadness. But for Pete's sake, four hours later?! It's not cool to make me worry about him like that.

Well, when we aren't all worried one of us is going to die, we are doing other things to keep our minds busy and I've included lot's of pictures to show what we've been doing.

First up: Isaac and Eli playing together! Hooray for half day kindergarten! I love that they get to play together. Of course, they do A LOT of fighting too. So when they play well together I have to have proof. Hence, the pictures.

And look at that blue sky! We are getting Utah's yucky weather this weekend though.
Next, I've been organizing--or trying to at least. We still have some problem areas in our house with clutter that I just don't know what to do with. I bought these cork boards to put the boy's papers (they go to different schools so I get confused about who's papers belong to which school). Hopefully I'll get them spruced up a bit--maybe a fabric flower or their names on their boards. I don't know. Something.
Third, I'm having fun making silly lunches for Will. He gets embarrassed sometimes because the kids giggle at the silly faces on his sandwiches. I certainly don't want him to be embarrassed so when he says to stop I will. And, he doesn't always get fun stuff--just when I'm prepared. He's had silly teeth made from apples and peanut butter and marshmallows, ants made from toothpicks and grapes and then the stuff in the pictures below. Oh, and sometimes I use a big cookie cutter to cut his sandwiches. I saw a Ferb sandwich on Pinterest that Will is going to LOVE (he loves Phineas and Ferb).

This picture goes with my organizing stuff. It cost me five dollars for the frame and then I used scrapbook paper I already had to make this menu list.
Fourth, I mentioned Laila has a neighbor. Events happened that allowed me to meet the mother of Laila's neighbor. She's wonderful and I'm excited to be friends--how we met is so crazy and God definitely played a part in us meeting. We went to visit Laila after conference and Isaac had to get a picture next to her. Last time we went he fell asleep in the car and was heartbroken he didn't get to see her so this time he insisted on a picture.
Fifth, I painted the guest bathroom. This yellow looks brighter than it actually is. It's a very pale yellow. I painted the white flower on the wall and then made the little puffy paint flower on canvas. It looks greenish but it's actually a blue. I think I'm done painting for awhile. I still have my room and the boy's bathroom, and my bathroom as well as the hallway upstairs but I need a painting break.

There you go, projects and thoughts of death.


Katie said...

I think the thoughts and fears surrounding death is totally normal. I think I may have told you before but, almost 3 years after our car accident, I still sleep with the TV on so my mind can't go in bad directions (although it has definitely gotten better over time). I have a really hard time with Sean and the kids all leaving in the car at the same time without me because I worry about one accident leaving me alone without them. And I still get extremely anxious if Sean is late coming home and doesn't answer his phone. I don't know, maybe that isn't comforting. But at least I can say I understand that part of it because just that threat of losing someone did it to me, too. I'm so sorry you have to go through it.

Pitcher Family said...

Love the bathroom color! and the fun foods!

Pitcher Family said...

btw, I may copy your menu idea. find that on pinterest?

The Duke said...

You are a fun mom-- those lunch ideas are adorable. He might be embarrassed, but he's still little and I think most of his friends will be jealous of his great, creative lunches. Keep it up!
I understand about the worry and fear of something happening. Maybe you didn't have those worries before, but I have always had them.
A week ago Jim took his pigeons over to Santaquin area to get ready for a race. He left about 6:30 p.m. He usually stays a while and visits with the guys so I don't expect him home until about 8 or so. Well, he didn't come home - about 9:45 he finally showed up. I asked him where he was and he was vague and wouldn't tell me. I pressed to know what he had been doing so long. And, he had watched the BYU football game and knew the end of the game. He didn't watch it with his buddies. He said he had his reasons for not telling me and then he went to bed. I steamed. The next morning I kept insisting because I had been so worried that something had happened. He then held up his arm and showed me a bandaid where an IV had been. He had spent a couple of hours at the hospital because he thought he was having a heart attack. He didn't want me to worry, I guess, but it made me more worried not to know where he was. And.... what if he had been having one and had died? Do you think I want that phone call from a stranger at the hospital? Nope. I hope he never does that to me again!

Alyssa said...

I think the food is cute.

Jess and Jason said...

I always worry about Jason dying when he is late. I can imagine that it is much worse when you have experienced it lately. When I am truly worried I start to plan out my life with him dead. Seriously, I start to think about paying off the house with the insurance $$ and working out because I will need to loose weight and get in shape to find a new husband. I don't want to find someone, but when I am really worried it gives me something to concentrate on!
I love the flowers on the yellow wall!!