A lilac tree for Laila

In college Mike and I were friends with a girl named Laila (I was her visiting teacher and she actually had a momentary crush on Mike). She was such a little dainty girl and she was sweet and interesting. I loved her name from the minute I heard it. Mike liked it too and we decided that if we ever had a girl we would name her Laila. When we found out we were having a girl we had other names we liked, Piper being the top of our list. We had decided we would name her Piper but when she came out we both tried calling her Piper and Laila kept coming out instead. So, Laila it was and even though we knew people would want to call her Layla because of the way her name was spelled we liked the Laila (think Thailand) spelling better. We thought long and hard about a middle name. I wrote about it already on a previous post. Mike said he liked virtue names and I thought that was pretty dang cheesy but the more I thought about it the more Faith came to mind. Every time I thought of a middle name, faith popped into my head. I considered the amount of faith required of me that year leading to her birth and felt it was appropriate.

I buy journals for my children when they are born. I try to write in them once or twice a month. Before Laila died I had only one entry in her journal. This is part of what I wrote:

"I chose to give you the name 'faith' because it took a lot of faith to get you here. I wanted you to know about my faith, that I have faith in God, and His plan for each of us, regardless of the challenges we go through to accomplish that plan. I want you to have faith your entire life. Your Daddy blessed you with the gift of faith during your baby blessing and I hope you will always strive to have it."

Now, that entry seems ironic. But I still believe what I wrote--that there is a plan, that that plan brings pain, and that there is joy to be had. Right now the joy is hard to feel but I believe it is there, that there are rewards in store and that they are eternal.

I am reminded of an excert from my one of my favorite talks:

"To any who may be struggling to see that light and find that hope, I say: Hold on. Keep trying. God loves you. Things will improve. Christ comes to you in His “more excellent ministry” with a future of “better promises."

...nothing could break His faith in His Father’s plan or His Father’s promises. Even in those darkest hours at Gethsemane and Calvary, He pressed on, continuing to trust in the very God whom He momentarily feared had forsaken Him.

Because Christ’s eyes were unfailingly fixed on the future, He could endure all that was required of Him, suffer as no man can suffer except it be “unto death,” ¹¹ as King Benjamin said, look upon the wreckage of individual lives and the promises of ancient Israel lying in ruins around Him and still say then and now, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” ¹² How could He do this? How could He believe it? Because He knows that for the faithful, things will be made right soon enough. He is a King; He speaks for the crown; He knows what can be promised.

In memory of Laila we planted a Lilac bush. My mom took these beautiful pictures for Laila's room and my favorite one was from a Lilac bush. At the time I didn't realize that was a Lilac flower.


My mother-in-law said that the bush should flower every year around her birthday. I'm so excited to have a beautiful bush right by my front porch to remind me of my beautiful Laila. We plan on planting a Lilac bush every where we live.