Find the woman....

who showers, does her hair, AND wears make-up everyday

whose children are well-behaved

who rarely raises her voice

whose children's faces are always CLEAN in public

whose children don't watch more than one or two hours of T.V. a day

whose house is clean at any given time, any given day...or even just clean at one time in the day

whose van and yard is devoid of clutter

who has no grey hair at the young, spry age of 28

who reads her children books every day and also finds a moment to read her own book and thus, keep her mind bright and vibrant

who can sew her own curtains, or really just sew anything

whose house is beautifully decorated, with decorations that match, mind you

who makes sure she eats veggies and fruits each day

who fits into something a size ten or below or that has something other than the letter L on it

who can wear that piece of said clothing after having a baby only 3 months, 6 months, or a year ago

who has a demanding calling

who never complains when her husband is home late or at ANOTHER church meeting or doing MORE homework.

who isn't jealous that her husband gets PAID to workout

whose garden is growing and producing flowers or yummy foods to eat

who cans her own food

who makes wonderful meals from scratch every day

who not only reads her scriptures but studies them

who serves her neighbors and friends more than once a month

who scrapbooks or does her family history regularly

who goes to the temple once a month

who is the perfect s*x*al partner or at least desires s*x more than once a week (hey, maybe even more than once every two weeks)

who provides activities that help her children grow mentally, socially, and physically

who doesn't have a desire to update her blog more than once a week so she can have contact with the world outside of her darling children, or in other words, has a life.

Find that woman (or the woman that fits even half of these). And when you find her, send her my way because I want to punch her. She and I can never be friends.

Comments

I love you, Adrienne!

I'll hold her while you punch, k? (I can say that because I am so sure she does not exist).
Pitcher Family said…
I think you get pretty close to this woman!! I don't even think about half of those things, so what does that make me!?! If any of us were this perfect what would be the use of living, there would be nothing to strive for. I think your great!!!
Jess and Jason said…
You make me laugh!! I have never met her before, and I really don't want to. I feel bad enough about myself without running into my complete and total opposite!
Cali said…
I guess we can no longer be friends, but YOU will have to come to Oregon to punch me! Just kidding--but I'll join you in your rantings. Here I sit and blog while my kiddos nap (yes! All three are napping--amazing!!), when I should be folding the laundry and cleaning up lunch--but I just need to feel a little bit connected to my friends. Even though I never see them. Bummer.

Anyway--you are great. I better hurry so that I can get some things done before the kids wake up!
That was funny...I was wondering how it was going to end. LOL
I'm SO jealous my husband gets paid to workout....and that even though he eats nothing but Milk Duds, whole milk and coco krispies whines about not being able to gain any weight.....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Papa Doc said…
I am hoping that you do not hurt yourself by punching. I thought you did all of those things.

Over the years I have come to realize that you can judge the quality of a woman by the love that shows on her kids faces and in their hearts. I see it in your kids, and so I am not worried one bit about you not meeting the woman you described.

True, perhaps many of those things do not occur simaltaniously (sp), but they do all occur in your life often. God bless you, one of my wonderful daughters.

Dad Clark
Rachel said…
She doesn't exist. . . or I'd punch her too!
Papa Doc said…
Whew! We can still be friends - I've never met her - she doesn't exist. Let your husband there is no such woman.
But you sure do try hard to be like her.
Love you.
Mom

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