My quest to hear
Some of my favorite moments are late at night, almost early morning, when both Mike and I want to be asleep. Instead, we are laying in bed talking. Mike, wishes we were still up for other reasons, but I treasure those moments where it's quiet and we talk about things--what happened in the day, what things we did wrong that day (like too much yelling), what we read in our personal scripture study, what we are discouraged about (this is usually me because Mike doesn't get discouraged too often).
Last night I had a lot to talk about. Mike was doing homework but he stopped and listened to me. My heart was full. I'm not sure I knew exactly what emotion it was full of, but I think it was feeling a need to communicate with God. The communication through prayer was not enough. I needed more. I needed that flow from my mind to God and then God's words back to me through the spirit.
I wanted to thank him for those moments I had during the day where I crawled in bed with Isaac during nap time to stroke his cheek and sing to him while his eyes struggled to stay awake. Then later, when I rocked Eli in the quiet of his room I felt a surge of love. It was just me and my baby. He kept kissing me with his open mouth, wet kisses. And while the boys slept my sister and I played Chutes and Ladders and Sesame Street Phase 10 with Will. The joy on his face while he got our undivided attention was an priceless. He won too, which added to his happiness.
My heart was beating with love. My life is full of smiles and giggles and kisses. My lap is almost always full with little boys wanting to be close to their mommy (and usually they are fighting over who gets to sit on my lap).
Last night, as the night turned to early morning, we talked. I hoped to be able to call upon The Spirit to make intercession for me with "groanings which cannot be uttered." We talked about the Spirit talking to us. Do I know when the Spirit is talking to me, instructing me?
In my attempt to hear, I have decided to post about the few times I know The Spirit spoke to me and I heard. Most of those experiences are quick, quiet, and unexpected. So, I will write them, and share them. But not today. This post will have to suffice for today. Today I am going swimming with my boys and my sister. Today this post is already too long and each moment I spend on this blog is another moment lost that I could and should be spending with my boys.
Last night I had a lot to talk about. Mike was doing homework but he stopped and listened to me. My heart was full. I'm not sure I knew exactly what emotion it was full of, but I think it was feeling a need to communicate with God. The communication through prayer was not enough. I needed more. I needed that flow from my mind to God and then God's words back to me through the spirit.
I wanted to thank him for those moments I had during the day where I crawled in bed with Isaac during nap time to stroke his cheek and sing to him while his eyes struggled to stay awake. Then later, when I rocked Eli in the quiet of his room I felt a surge of love. It was just me and my baby. He kept kissing me with his open mouth, wet kisses. And while the boys slept my sister and I played Chutes and Ladders and Sesame Street Phase 10 with Will. The joy on his face while he got our undivided attention was an priceless. He won too, which added to his happiness.
My heart was beating with love. My life is full of smiles and giggles and kisses. My lap is almost always full with little boys wanting to be close to their mommy (and usually they are fighting over who gets to sit on my lap).
Last night, as the night turned to early morning, we talked. I hoped to be able to call upon The Spirit to make intercession for me with "groanings which cannot be uttered." We talked about the Spirit talking to us. Do I know when the Spirit is talking to me, instructing me?
In my attempt to hear, I have decided to post about the few times I know The Spirit spoke to me and I heard. Most of those experiences are quick, quiet, and unexpected. So, I will write them, and share them. But not today. This post will have to suffice for today. Today I am going swimming with my boys and my sister. Today this post is already too long and each moment I spend on this blog is another moment lost that I could and should be spending with my boys.
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