Back to school

The kids go back to school on Monday.  They haven't been to school since December 17th.  I feel really sad about them going back.  The difference between homeschool and school has been pretty apparent for me this break.  While they haven't actually been doing homeschool, just distance learning, it feels similar to homeschool.  Everyone besides Eli seems happier and more relaxed.  Eli says that he prefers not going to school but he doesn't seem to be any different either way.  He just seems like chipper Eli regardless.  On days when they go to school, Will comes home tired, quiet, and burdened.  Isaac is moodier and more anxious and generally less happy.  Piper stresses about girl drama and just wants to sit in front of the TV to decompress as soon as she gets home.  Our mornings are early and rushed and not as cheerful.  Our evenings are not relaxed either.  Our conversations have less depth and more business.  Dinner, cleanup time, and scriptures are all rushed so that bedtime can happen early.  Felicity gets less quality time with her siblings.  She is so excited when they come home but they are all stressed or concerned about getting homework done.  She craves time with Piper and Piper wants time to veg out for awhile before having to use her brain to play with Felicity but then it's time for dinner, cleanup, and scriptures.  Basically, our family works better when we aren't in school.  I know that distance learning is an unpopular opinion for the majority of parents and kids but we have felt like it has been a blessing and I'm really sad to see it end.  I have appreciated not having to be in charge of teaching Piper but still getting all the benefits of having them home.  Each of the kids had breaks throughout the day and I would come into the living room to find one of the boys using their break to play Candyland or Guess Who with Felicity.  Piper and Felicity would pretend or go to the rooftop area and ride scooters and roller skates during lunch break.  Without the bus ride we had at least two extra hours to be together.  The older boys still had seminary at 5:30 but they would go back to sleep until school started and we all got to sleep in.  There was no rush of getting lunch boxes and backpacks packed or checking the lunch menu and making sure there was still money on their account.  

So, Monday we start back and we all feel sad about it.  The kids like to see their friends at school and I think they will appreciate having that part of their day back.  I am feeling the saddest for Felicity.  Our lockdown has been extended for a third week, which will probably drag on into multiple weeks more, and that effects Felicity the very most.  The other kids will just go to school and back and their lives will feel mostly the same (minus extracurricular activities and youth activities) but Felicity can't go to parks, meet her friend Claire at the park, or go to ballet and now her siblings are back in school so she won't get the interactions with them that she has had the last three weeks.  I hope I am enough for her.  I hope that what I can give her right now is enough to provide her with the friendship and love she needs.  She is an independent girl but my most social child and this move has been so hard on her.  I mentioned Claire, her one friend here.  We met Claire at a park and have met up multiple times until Thanksgiving and haven't had a chance to see Claire since then.  Claire used to have Mondays and Tuesdays off from school but now Claire goes to school full time so our opportunity to meet up has dwindled to Saturdays and now with the lockdown, we are not able to meet at all.  Ballet also helped Felicity. Even though the girls in her class only speak Japanese, they still giggle together and I think just doing something interesting and fun and being around other girls has really helped Felicity.  When we arrived here she started peeing her pants up to five times a day and it was a clear sign to me that she was under stress.  I feel like meeting Claire and going to ballet was a turning point for Felicity and she no longer cries and wets her pants.  I don't think this lockdown will cause her to revert back to crying and wetting but it does still make me feel sad for her.  I wish she had more friends and that we weren't stuck here so that she could play with them.  While I don't want her to go to school because I'll miss her, starting kindergarten will probably be the very best thing that could happen for her.  

It is always interesting to me to see where these blog posts end up.  I start thinking about one thing and end up writing something different.  Anyway, lockdown is annoying but distance learning was a blessing.