Overwhelm

September was probably one of the longest months I can remember.  It is weird to look back on the photos from September and feel like, "how did all of that happen in one month?"  I think September was a really hard month for me.  I felt all the feelings you can imagine.  Being in downtown Tokyo is a different experience than living on base in Japan.  I've had people visit and tell me about what they know about Tokyo from their time visiting and I mean no rudeness at all, but visiting and living are two very different things.  I think if I were to visit here I would leave thinking this is such a fun, cool, quirky, endearing city.  It IS definitely those things but also, some of the things about this city that make it quirky and endearing are also that things that make my life so much harder now.  I feel that probably 95% of my life is harder now than it was just three months ago.  Things that I took for granted before are harder.  I miss the ease of my life before.  Someone here told me that I need to get through grieving my old life first so that I can adjust and accept life here.  Most everyone here tells me that they are still adjusting after a year, two, even three years.  Anyway, last month I was on the struggle bus.  Another friend told me that she was having a hard time and decided to do the 90 day scripture challenge.  She told me that within two days she was feeling more peaceful and happy.  I decided to give it a try.  Two days went by and I was just as unhappy as before.  Two weeks went by and things were still hard.  I am not sure what I expect from this challenge.  I didn't actually expect the same experience as her but I can say that the last two weeks have been better.  I am feeling more at peace and more confident, less overwhelmed and burdened.  I think that just the action of reading the Book of Mormon every day is keeping the promises of God front and center in my mind and allowing me to have faith that He will help.  Here are a few random photos from my day to day life right now.