Monday, September 11, 2017

Hurricane Irma and my locket

Right before we left the hospital, and Laila behind, I asked the detective if I could cut a piece of Laila's hair.  Even though it wasn't really allowed, she had pity on me.  I cut off a small piece and bought a locket to put her hair in.  I wore it often until Piper was born and now with Felicity, I don't wear it either because babies have such grabby hands and I don't want one of the babies to break it.  It sits on my counter in the bathroom and I have to admit that when I see it sitting there, I miss it around my neck.

This week we decided not to stay in Florida for Hurricane Irma.  I had to decide what to take with us and what to leave behind.  We don't have a lot that I really care about in our house.  I mean, of course, I'd be sad to come home to our home and things destroyed but for the most part, I don't have a deep connection to the things inside out house.  There are a few items I would be really sad to lose however.  Our journals, a treasured painting, and Laila's things.  I protected them the best way I knew how and hoped for the best.  Right before we left I saw the locket and put it in my pocket.  I knew that I did not want to leave the locket behind.

The locket stayed in my pocket until Saturday morning when I threw in a load of laundry.  Later that night Mike came and tapped me on the shoulder and told me he needed to talk to me in the other room.  After following him he pulled my locket out of his pocket, broken and empty.  In the rush to leave I didn't take it out of my pocket and then once we finally got to my sister's house, I just completely forgot.

I was devastated.

I feel like my brain failed me.

I didn't even need Hurricane Irma to destroy my treasured things.  I did it on my own.

Her hair is the only physical piece of her I had left.  I have other things that were hers like her blankets and clothes but her hair is a part of her.  Mike reminded me that we still have a small amount of her hair left at home in an envelope (and it looks like the house was undamaged so the envelope should still be there).  That hair was given to me by the man that did the autopsy.  He cut a little bit more for me and put it in the envelope.  It has some embalming fluid dried on it but it's all I have.

So Hurricane Irma will always be remembered in my book as the event that caused me to lose my mind, and my locket.

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