Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Sacred

As our move to Tennessee approached, we discussed our options for our house in Colorado.  I didn't want to sell it.  There was a connection to that house that I hadn't felt anywhere else.  I felt scared in that house.  I felt safe in that house.  I felt misery in that house but also the surprising joy that comes after the misery.  I felt beaten down and then later, renewal.  So much happened in that home.  My awareness of spiritual beings was awakened in that house.  That house became a sacred place for me.  It seems weird to think about how misery and trial can be sacred but in that home I became different and that right there, is sacred to me.  

Leaving that house behind was a difficult thought for me.  After discussing it we realized that we weren't ready to say goodbye.  Even though we don't think we will ever live in that house again, we didn't want to be done with it.  Thankfully, things worked out perfectly and the best renters we could ever imagine are living in our house.  When our friends decided to move from their house and rent our home, I felt so much peace.  I knew that love and happiness would continue on in that house.  When visiting Colorado in November I stayed in the house for the week and I was pleased to discover that the same peace I felt while I lived there, was still present.  

All that leads me to thoughts about this house.  This time we felt as though we should sell our current house instead of rent it out.  Our house is now under contract and we have had the chance to have a tiny glimpse into the lives of the soon to be new owners.  The father is battling colon cancer and the family needs to down grade to a smaller house with less yard.  As a side note, my house is pretty big so it's funny to say they are down grading by moving into this house, but really, it's all about perspective.  Anyway, that's not important.  The family is moving here, closer to family, and closer to the hospital where the father will receive treatments.  

When I discovered that small detail about the family, things changed a little for me.  I find myself walking into my bedroom and seeing the bed and imagining a sick man recovering in that room.  It's weird and I can't even really put what I am thinking into words but some how I feel that familiar feeling of sacredness.  I wonder if this house can be a sacred place for him like the house in Colorado was for me.  Thinking about his suffering (and in my bedroom) feels my heart with respect.  

I would like to think that our family has a happy home and that we strive to fill it with peace and love.  I hope when people come in our home they look past our mismatched, old furniture and instead feel peace.  I want them to leave my home feeling like there is a good spirit in our home.  I am not sure if we always achieve that but I think (hope!) that for the most part, we have.  Thinking about this family that is going to move into my home and the struggles they are facing, I just wish I could leave a part of the spirit we have behind.  I wish the walls could whisper peace and comfort and love.  

I don't know what lies ahead for the family.  I don't know how his story will end but I hope this house can become a sacred one for them.   

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