Saturday, February 18, 2017

Discovering Reality

Perception is a pretty interesting thing.

I got a smart phone less than a year ago.  I honestly am still learning how to use it.  I don't own a fancy phone--it was one of the cheapest phones they offered.  I use it for a few basic things and I don't have a bunch of cool apps.

I started an instagram account and I regularly post photos.  Sometimes I post a photo with me in it but rarely.  On those rare occasions, I've had people comment on my skin.

"Your skin looks really good."

Each time I go back and look at the picture and think, "Yeah, it does look good.  Awesome."

Recently, I took a picture with my sister and she said, "Girl, what filter are you using on your phone?  I've never looked so good."

I proudly told her I wasn't using a filter.  We just looked that good!

A couple of days later my husband was giggling in the other room and came to show me this funny filter you could use to make your face skinnier and your eyes larger.  Creepily large.

He grabbed my phone to show me the built in filter on my phone and we discovered that my sister was right!  My phone was set to make your skin look better.  It was only turned up half way but it wasn't accurately showing how my skin really looked.

I was bummed.  Seriously bummed.

I mean, here I was thinking I had awesome skin and everyone else was thinking the same thing.  We turned the filter off and suddenly I didn't look quite so good.  How disappointing.

But here's the thing:  My skin doesn't actually look that bad (only sometimes). I see myself in the mirror every morning and I know what my skin looks like.  Sometimes I can look at myself and have a healthy view of what I look like and sometimes I don't say the kindest things to myself in my head.  But it's funny how other people can comment on my skin  and I think, "Yeah, they are right.  I look good" but then when I discover that they are all looking at my skin through a fake lens I suddenly don't feel so good about myself.  It's a shame that I can let myself be affected by any comments, good or bad.

This is a problem I've had for a long time.  I actually CARE what people think of my skin or my body or my clothes or hair or whatever else they can see on the outside.

That's just stupid.  I'm trying not to care.

Probably I care because people come up stupid filters that make us look like we don't actually look.  They make us believe that we should have those creepy huge eyes or skinny faces and blemish free skin.  The reality is, I have lots of wrinkles.  Because I'm old.  And I live a life.  And I smile and worry.  It's a shame that society today makes us believe that we shouldn't be that way and it's even more a shame that I fall for that lie.

Creepy eyes, skinny face, perfect skin

what my phone is set to make me look like

What I really look like

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