The Living Christ/Easter 2015

Each Easter since Laila died has been bittersweet for me.  I feel a deep gratitude for the truth of the resurrection and the knowledge that we will see Laila again and I feel excited for Laila for the day that she will get to be reunited with her body.  I understand that death is a part of our existence and necessary for our continual growth and path towards exaltation.  I am grateful that the Savior has overcome death, both spiritual and physical.  Easter comes and those truths resonate deeply in my heart but sometimes I feel sadness that I am celebrating a day about the chance to see Laila again when really, I'd just like her to be here now.  So it is a little sorrowful as well as joyful.  Often my heart feels a little heavy on Easter.  

This year our Relief Society made the decision to memorize the sacred document The Living Christ.  I do not memorize things well and I was concerned about being able to actually get it memorized but I decided I'd accept the challenge and put in my best effort.  I have read, re-read, and written each weeks paragraph over and over.  I have written them on my bathroom mirror and on the white board in my living room so I could see them each time I walk by.  I've taken paper and pen and written it over and over while I wait for the boys in the carpool lane at school.  I've randomly recited the paragraphs while washing dishes or made dinner.  I've had the boys pop quiz me.  I've listened to this video a billion times.  I can't listen without getting chocked up.  I do not have it perfectly memorized but I only stumble in a couple of places.  

As I've memorized this document my testimony of the Savior has grown and my feelings for Him and his sacrifice have been so tender.  Last night it was my turn to pray for our couple's prayer at bedtime and I found myself crying as I thanked the Lord for sending His son to the earth.  It has been a blessing for me this year to focus on the living instead of the dying.

My favorite quote from the document is the final testimony that I leave on this Easter Day:

"God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine son!"

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This month we have been busy making and selling Eastertivities.  We have had at least one of them in our home at all times as we've gotten them ready to send off to individuals.  It has been wonderful to watch the kids play with the different pieces and I've loved holding each piece in my hands as I've cleaned them, a regular reminder to me of why we celebrate Easter.  

Piper and I had a little fun with some Easter crafts.  She enjoyed helping me cut out the bunny ears.

Today, Easter, is General Conference so we won't be getting all dressed up to go to church but I wanted to snap a quick picture last week before church.  Piper has grown out of her church dresses so I had a good excuse to buy her a couple new dresses and I found this pretty white one on sale.  Piper loves it and she looks so sweet and precious in it.  Don't be fooled however, she was a beast at church that day.

Today after Conference we are having our Easter dinner.  I feel spoiled because our dear friend Laurie Tindall is making the majority of the meal.  She eats Sunday dinner with us each week and the boys always ask me, "Is Laurie coming over tonight?"  It has been awesome to have her in our home each week.  The kids all love her and she always washes my dishes each week and helps make dinner.  

Mike was out of town last week but I braved dyeing eggs with the boys and Piper by myself.  We had a great time and it actually was a good experience with little mess.

Finally, we had our ward Easter Egg hunt this past weekend.  I took pictures and they were kind of dark so I tweaked them on my other computer but now that they are uploaded I dislike the editing.  It is much too "bright" and fake looking to me.  Oh, well.  I had to snap some pictures of the gorgeous view that the Cruze family gets to see every day.  About half of the family lives together on this farm--they all have some land and homes of their own.  I get to drive to the farm each week for the my Relief Society Presidency meeting and I never get tired of the country roads, the trees, and quiet feel of the country.  It was a great place for our Easter egg hunt.

Last year the bunny did not come to our house per our request.  The boys were not taking very good care of their things and we just felt that it wasn't necessary to add more "stuff" to their lives.  This year they have really grown.  They are still not as clean or as good with their things as I'd like but they are making good improvements.  They are doing their chores each week, cleaning their rooms and just being more responsible in general.  We did tell the bunny to come this year but he only brought one small basket with a game of Uno for the boys, a coloring book and bubbles for Piper, some candy to share, and three eggs each with coupons for more computer time, reading a book with dad, and getting out of one chore.  It's been a good Easter so far and I'm excited to listen to Conference.