At the park today I watched Eli and his friend bury pine cones. They were at it for a long time, burying pine cone after pine cone. I finally pointed out the obvious, "Hey Eli, so you are burying pine cones huh?" His response: "Yeah. They are all dead babies. They were all born to the same mom and they died so we are burying them."
My heart dropped.
I had thought of some cute game they were imagining with these pine cones. But no. They were burying babies.
This experience has been on my mind all day. It is so sad to me that Eli's playing involves death and graves. I've mentioned that we visit the grave often. It is normal to the boys to see a fresh grave. How sad is it that part of their experience involves conversations about babies dying? I wish this wasn't a part of their experience. I realize though, that if it weren't this, it would just be something else. My friend for instance, is going through kidney failure for the third time. I thought how if that was our experience instead of a baby dying, Eli might be pretending to have dialysis.
Life is hard. And sad.