Lucky
My sister-in-law told me about an experience she had recently with someone in her ward. This woman made the assessment that because so many people compliment her on how well-behaved her children are that she must be the perfect mother. I shudder to think what will happen to this woman's confidence if her children end up making choices contrary to what she thinks they ought to make. How horrible that her self-worth is based on the behavior of her children. Did she forget the fact that a third of the host of heaven chose something other than what their Father (the perfect parent) wanted for them? I understand that my parenting really has little to do with who my children are or who they will become. Of course I matter but I believe my job is mostly just to remind my kids of things they already know.
These little people that surround me each day are special. It's not because of me. I just believe they came this way.
Isaac had a special lunch at his school yesterday because he was chosen as student of the month. The Core Value at his school this month was Compassion and she chose him for his kindness and compassion that he shows to all his classmates. I've been in his class to volunteer and I've seen his compassion first hand. When I ask him who his friends are at school, he just shrugs and says, "Everyone."
He is going to make some little lady very happy someday because he has qualities that wives only hope their husbands will have. He is so much like his father in so many ways...He has this very particular quality about him. In the morning he takes his pajamas off and places them neatly on his bed so they are ready for the night. Unlike his brothers who squeeze toothpaste on the floor, the carpet, the sink, themselves, etc, Isaac carefully puts toothpaste on his toothbrush, brushes his teeth, and then immediately puts his toothpaste and toothbrush in the cupboard. He does his homework in a detailed, focused manner. So much of what he does is carefully thought out beforehand.
Of course, he also has some of his mother in him which he displays in a very sensitive personality. He worries frequently about his choices and I am constantly reassuring him that he is a good, special boy that Heavenly Father loves.
It has been so interesting to watch the differences in Will and Isaac since Laila died. They deal with things in such a different way, neither better than the other, just different. It's just become so apparent to me that they came to earth this way, each with their very separate personalities and spirits. When I look at them I often tell myself, "I didn't do this--they did this all on their own." Their kindness, compassion, sensitivity--all of it--came with them and my job is to just help them magnify those qualities and remind them the qualities they already posses. I would never be so pompous or proud to assume that my boys are as wonderful as they are because of me.
Really, I just got lucky I was chosen to have them come to my home.
Comments
Jason, I think you will be surprised at how your children will end up eventually. They have lots of good spiritual grounding. I think you will be surprised.