P.S.

I don't feel like I conveyed all I'm feeling about Laila (of course not, can words every convey every thing you feel?).

I wanted to add that while those dislikes in the last post are lengthy she really is such a blessing in our family. I mentioned briefly in the last post that she is better than her brothers and for those of you that know me you know that I am doing better than I was with her brothers. Her brothers were so difficult and on top of that, I was depressed.

It is such a stark contrast to me this time around. She is so similar in so many ways but I feel so much happier this time. I always loved her brothers but I feel I have so much more to give this time around.

There are days when I struggle and get tired of holding her all day or hate listening to her cry or frustrated with the increased demands on my time but my ability to handle each thing is magnified.

Laila is a gift to me. I had prayed a lot about various things that occurred to our family this year and most of those prayers were answered with a negative but so far the prayer that is a positive is that I have been blessed to be happier.

I used to think, "Why do women like newborns?" but the more I am around other women and their babies, I recognize that they just have very different experiences than I do. Some have it worse...Now that I am not depressed, I think, "This is why we keep having them. This is why women love newborns."

So, things with Laila will get better and knowing how awesome her brothers are considering their start, I'm excited to see how Laila will be in a few months.