Tuesday, April 19, 2011

No rest for the weary

Well, it's about that time again--you know, that time where I haven't complained for awhile, so I devote this post to complaining. But, with that complaining comes a good dose of appreciation for the daily reminders that there is divine help when needed.

People keep saying something to me that annoys me. They say something like, "Now is the time when you can just sit back and prepare for that sweet baby and just enjoy the end."

It shouldn't be annoying really, but it is because I'd love that. I'd love to be home and relax, play with the boys, or I don't know...even clean my house (it desperately needs a good cleaning and every night I think, "if tonight's the night the baby comes, I'm going to be awfully embarrassed to have someone come to my house to stay with the boys).

I keep thinking of the quote from Elder Uchtdorf from his talk Of Things That Matter Most, "Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions." I love this talk, and agree with him. On top of all the regular things to be dealt with like Kung Fu, Visiting Teaching, school, preschool, etc., there are other things to deal with. I keep trying to eliminate and simplify and it seems that the instant I do that something unexpected replaces the eliminated activity that HAS to be dealt with. It's been frustrating.

For instance, Mike is on casual status, which is supposed to be code for doing nothing. For a few weeks that was the case, and it was a blessed help to me. But now, when I need his help the most, he is babysitting a bunch of generals. He is working 12 hour days for part of this week. On Sunday he left at 7:15 for church meetings. We saw him at church and then didn't see him again until 9:00 P.M. I was having quite a few contractions the day before (about every five minutes) and when he said goodbye and shut the door, I burst into tears, wondering how I was going to get through the day by myself.

I said a good long prayer and the day was wonderful. It was long but friends unexpectedly came to my rescue in the form of kidnapping my kids for an hour so I could nap, and another friend and her family dropping by with cookies to let us know they were thinking of us. The boys and I played with puzzles and their typical crazy behavior was surprisingly calm that day. I definitely know that Heavenly Father played a part in making the day run smoothly.

Last week Mike was at work preparing for the arrival of the generals so while he is normally able to be home for my non-stress appointments, he wasn't available this week. So, I swallowed my pride and asked a friend to watch the boys while I went to my appointment. The night before the appointment Isaac came into the kitchen and said he needed lotion because he was itchy. I looked at him and sure enough he had a nice rash on his throat and belly. And I knew...

The only other time he's had a rash was when he had strep throat. He and his brothers showed no real signs of strep except for a little bit of a red throat. But I knew when I saw the rash that I had to take them to the doctor. I drug all three boys into the doctors and got them swabbed, then had to drag them all with me to my non-stress test (which I tried to cancel because of the strep and they wouldn't let me out of it). Taking three little boys to a non-stress test is anything but non-stressful.

Sure enough, the next day I got a call that they all had strep. So I had to drag them all back to base to pick up the medication. Remember that I live approximately 30 minutes from base and I am already driving to base twice a week for non-stress tests, my normal OB appointment, and for the fluid check (luckily they can do some of this on the same day). Even this experience shows divine help however, because I am very lucky to have children that show no real signs of the dreaded strep--no fevers, no real crankiness, not even any coughing or runny noses this time. Had it not been for the rash, I would never had known I had sick kids. I'm really thankful they are able to handle strep so well because dealing with little sick kids is such a bummer.

And finally, my license was expiring in two weeks so I planned to take the test and get a new one. I had to take documents to prove I am a real person (social security card, current license, birth certificate, and marriage license). All of our important documents go together in a folder in our cabinet. I went to find my social security card and it was gone. Mike and I were up until midnight searching every possible place it could be. We couldn't find it so the next morning we had to drive to downtown Dayton to get a new one. Then the next day I had to go take the test and get the license.

While annoying and an added headache, it was a pretty quick and easy process. I passed the test and got my license within an hour.

When people ask me if I'm ready to have this baby, my answer is a definite "Yes" but it's less because of the typical physical ailments you would expect at this point in pregnancy, and more because I just need a break. I need to end the appointments, I need Mike to be home for two weeks, and I need the diabetes to disappear (which in theory should happen).

I crave calm and trips to the park instead of trips to the doctor. I want to spend my days reading books to he boys or making cute bows for the baby. But things aren't that way and I know they could be much worse in so many ways. I also know that I am growing in necessary ways.

And now, for a picture of Eli's cake. One of the things I decided to simplify was buying his cake instead of making it. I ordered the cake to his exact desires. He wanted a red cake with green frosting. Then I molded a little pig and Mike helped me mold the horse. All I had to do was place the pig and horse on the cake and put on a fence. He was thrilled and I was glad I decided not to stress about the cake.

So, with all the complaining, I recognize that Heavenly Father really is helping in each stressful instance. Each day I climb into bed and sigh a sigh of relief and wonder how I got through the day and then I realize, we just did. Things worked out. The kids are happy. I am surviving. Mike is close by. And this baby will be here in a little over two weeks. Things are good.


Papa Doc said...

If your complaints don't get any worse than the above, you will be just fine. You are due, you know. That is a tough time. I know, I have been pregnant for many years, and I don't get to deliver.

The cake was great. I love your little pink pig. I hope Eli had a great day.

Can't wait to see the little girl.

Love you all,

Dad Clark

Jess and Jason said...

You are amazing to look at the blessings that come with the trials. People keep telling me that one day I will miss my kids being little. I am sure that is true, but when I am totally overwhelmed and near tears, that is not what I need to hear! Wish we were closer so we could help!