Some thoughts on moving

For Family Home Evening this week we decided to talk to the boys about all the upcoming events that will occur in our home in the next few months.

Mainly we talked about the baby coming and moving but we also threw in Isaac's fifth birthday which means kindergarten. There will be a lot of changes--four birthdays, Mike graduating, a new baby, moving and everything that comes along with that (a new school, new ward, new house, new friends). Already there is a change for Isaac as I just got released as his CTR teacher but I think he will be ok without me.

I had checked out some books from the library on moving and I've been reading them to the boys for over a month, talking to them about it and hoping to get a feel for what they are thinking and expecting.

For Family Home Evening I read them another book about moving and then we talked about all the cool things that will happen when we move. We mentioned the mountains that we could spend time in hiking, camping (with a lot of convincing Mike), playing at the lake, etc. We told them that just like we live close to Mike's family, now we will get to live close to my family for awhile and that they will get to play with cousins, most of which they've never met. We told them about the house and how we'd have a basement they could play in and ride their bikes in until we finished it.

Mike found our neighborhood on google maps and we walked around the neighborhood showing them where they would go to school and the park that is just walking distance from our house. We explained that since Isaac is turning five he will get to go to the same school as Will and it will be less scary if they get to go together.

Then we asked what things might be scary about moving. And then Will's tears started to fall. He talked about not wanting to leave his best friend Carson and not wanting to go somewhere that he doesn't have friends.

It just makes me feel ill thinking about uprooting my kids. Which is why I don't usually think about it. I can talk about to people and be pretty unemotional and mater of fact but if I actually let myself think about what it all means, it brings up yucky feelings and brings back memories I don't really enjoy thinking about.

I understand what it feels like to be the new kid. I know how hard it is to make friends. I know what it's like to feel uncertain and scared. I know how rotten it is to leave somewhere that you love and have to make a positive experience in a place you don't know.

But, I also know that how much joy can come from making new friends and discovering new places. I know there is something to love about everywhere you live. I also know that the only thing that matters is that we make this move together as a family.

We had the boys draw pictures of something they were excited about or scared about. I can't find where Eli's picture got saved on the computer or I'd post it but it is really just a big bunch of blue scribbles representing the hot tub in our backyard that may or may not work.

Will drew three images on the same page. He drew himself outside our new house with tears streaming down his face. Then he drew our new chapel, also with him and tears running down his face. And finally, a picture of him at his new school with kids surrounding him but he is crying, missing his best friend. Heartbreaking.


Then Isaac drew his picture, which represents the mountains and a big blue lake with fish and a bright yellow sun (we can't forget the sun that WILL shine in Colorado). At the bottom he drew himself next to our new house and NO tears.



There's no way around this--it is going to be difficult. Moving always is. Moving here was really hard, mostly for Isaac. I'm hopeful that Mike and I can make this move an adventure and prepare the boys enough so that it's not a shock. I am hoping for a smooth transition, but aware that it will be hard for awhile. Even as an adult who's moved my entire life, I still don't like it. But since I've been through it so many times, hopefully I can be better prepared to help my kids make this a good experience.