Mercy
Yesterday I received two different bits of bad news--one life-altering and the other just deeply disappointing to me.
My dear cousin took her life and left a husband and family that dearly love her. I have felt such deep sorrow for her and her family. Every time I think about Tessa and the pain she must have been feeling and the pain her family is going through, I cry.
Later, right before bed, I received news that the agent working with my book has decided not to work with me after all. I am very disappointed, I'm not going to lie.
But, I grateful that the news came when it did because I feel there are deeper sorrows and even greater joy to be had than getting a book published.
This morning I just felt a heavy lump in my chest.
The memories of the previous day came back and I found my husband in the bathroom getting ready to go to work. He opened his arms and hugged me and told me he loved me and was sorry. I felt safe there knowing that his words are true. I have him. Forever. He is here to love me and encourage me.
I went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the boys and Eli rushed into the kitchen and lifted his leg up saying, "I have owie." As I bent down to kiss his tiny toes, I felt a rush of feeling. I will kiss his owies his entire life. I want to wrap my arms around my children and tell them they will always be mine and I will always love them and nothing they do will ever change that.
More than that, I felt the confirming influence of the Spirit warming my soul and telling me that The Savior is available, with arms outstretched to heal my heartaches and to extend his mercy to me if I accept him.
Mercy is real. God's love is real. Families are eternal. Forgiveness is available.
I want my children and family to know that I know of my Savior and his love.
My favorite quote has been running through my mind this morning:
"There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel....Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed....Only one who has fought against those ominous waves is justified in telling us--as well as the sea--to "be still."8 Only one who has taken the full brunt of such adversity could ever be justified in telling us in such times to "be of good cheer."9 Such counsel is not a jaunty pep talk about the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric, He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe!"
An High Priest of Good Things to Come, Jeffery R. Holland
My dear cousin took her life and left a husband and family that dearly love her. I have felt such deep sorrow for her and her family. Every time I think about Tessa and the pain she must have been feeling and the pain her family is going through, I cry.
Later, right before bed, I received news that the agent working with my book has decided not to work with me after all. I am very disappointed, I'm not going to lie.
But, I grateful that the news came when it did because I feel there are deeper sorrows and even greater joy to be had than getting a book published.
This morning I just felt a heavy lump in my chest.
The memories of the previous day came back and I found my husband in the bathroom getting ready to go to work. He opened his arms and hugged me and told me he loved me and was sorry. I felt safe there knowing that his words are true. I have him. Forever. He is here to love me and encourage me.
I went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the boys and Eli rushed into the kitchen and lifted his leg up saying, "I have owie." As I bent down to kiss his tiny toes, I felt a rush of feeling. I will kiss his owies his entire life. I want to wrap my arms around my children and tell them they will always be mine and I will always love them and nothing they do will ever change that.
More than that, I felt the confirming influence of the Spirit warming my soul and telling me that The Savior is available, with arms outstretched to heal my heartaches and to extend his mercy to me if I accept him.
Mercy is real. God's love is real. Families are eternal. Forgiveness is available.
I want my children and family to know that I know of my Savior and his love.
My favorite quote has been running through my mind this morning:
"There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel....Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed....Only one who has fought against those ominous waves is justified in telling us--as well as the sea--to "be still."8 Only one who has taken the full brunt of such adversity could ever be justified in telling us in such times to "be of good cheer."9 Such counsel is not a jaunty pep talk about the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric, He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe!"
An High Priest of Good Things to Come, Jeffery R. Holland
Comments
And so sorry about your book. :(
There are other agents around, surely someone better will come along that will feel privileged to work with you!
Hang in there!!