A story about my mom

I remember two Halloween's. One was in California--I was Olive Oil. The other was in Indiana. I remember that Halloween in particular because that was the Halloween I spewed my guts. My mom always made us put our candy in a communal pot. When you turned 12 you weren't allowed to go trick-or-treating anymore and since the younger kids could still go trick-or-treating my mom made us put it in the pot so the older kids, no longer allowed to trick-or-treat could still enjoy the fruits of their siblings labors.

That Halloween I must have been my last Hallowed because I was 11. My mom let me go to Logansport to trick-or-treat with my friend Amy (Samuels) Rowbury. I was so excited and had such a good time. And I ate a little too much candy--I threw up. I don't recall if I threw up before or after I got home and I don't remember all the details of the evening. There are three important pieces of this memory though. One is that we were living in a warehouse. We slept in office rooms on mattresses. We ate in the break room. We used the hand driers as our hair driers. The next piece of importance is that my mom was 8 months pregnant. She also slept on a mattress on the floor. And the final important piece is not a concrete image at all. It is the memory of a feeling. I clearly knew that night that my mom was interested in my night and that she took care of me that night. I imagine that my mom whispered sweet, consoling words to me that I would feel better and that she was sorry my fun night was ruined.

The memory has become important to me over the past few weeks. My mom's behavior under the circumstances of that memory leave me in wonder. At the time I was aware of living in a warehouse. I knew my mom was pregnant. I knew I threw up. But now, after having been pregnant three times, moving four times in five and a half years, and taking care of a few sick kids, I understand a little better.

The past month has been hard for us. Moving is hard. I moved a lot growing up. We joke that my dad was a gypsy. The moves my family made growing up were different than this current move. We were living in that warehouse because we had no other place to move. My dad was in between jobs (maybe he had just started his new job) and things were pretty uncertain at the time.

There was a secure job with secure pay waiting for us in Oho. The Air Force paid for our stay in the hotel. Living in the hotel for three weeks was stressful. Not knowing where we were going to live was stressful. But, I slept on a Queen size bed these last three weeks. We had a continental breakfast provided for us. We had a full bathroom. They were pretty nice hotels. We also stayed at my sister's house. She made us meals, provided towels, blankets, entertainment, and conversation, among other things.

My mom was eight months pregnant sleeping on the floor!! But more than that, she was eight months pregnant sleeping on the floor and extending her love to a daughter that made a silly choice by eating too much candy. I don't remember my mom ever complaining about living in that warehouse. I was oblivious to her aches and pains and stresses. All I knew was that I felt my mom's love. And now, with all my experiences, that loves takes on a deeper meaning.
She must have complained, right? Though, not everyone whines about things like I do. I wish my mom had kept a journal because I'd love to know how she really felt about those days. The worries my poor mom must have had.

I hope that my kids are as oblivious to my feelings about moving and other trials I might go through as I was to my mom's.

Comments

Lokodi said…
That was a really nice post. I second your feelings about mom and how she never complained when we lived in that warehouse. I remember that warehouse from a child's perspective and how "cool" it was. I thought it was an adventure with lots of cool places to explore. I never had the worry that mom took on. Thanks for sharing that.

Lindsey
Jason said…
I only lived in that warehouse for one day. We moved to Walton the day after I got home from my mission.

You can bet that the last three weeks have been a grand adventure for your boys. You are such a good mother, Adrianne, that I am sure your boys haven't the slightest clue how difficult the last few weeks have been for you.
What a great reason to keep a blog like you do....so someday your kids will be able to know how you felt in certain situations. Moving is really hard- especially when you don't know where you're going to live. (I think) it's nice to go back and read over how far you've come. I love the picture of the boys in the the cabinet and the pic at the Melting Pot. Sounds like a great date. I'm right behind you- I'll be 29 next month. EEK
Amy E said…
That was a great post. Amazing the things we overlooked about our mothers and how much they constantly did for us, and now we fully understand because we're doing the same for our kids. I remember thinking it was pretty cool that you guys lived in that warehouse and every time I pass it I think of your family. I had forgotten we trick-or-treated together! I think you must have gotten sick after you went home because I have no recollection of that, and I would probably remember such a thing. :) I have fond memories of spending time with you and your family when you lived here. You're awesome, Adrianne. Love ya.
Jess and Jason said…
Thank you for reminding me how good we have it, and how I need to teach my children to be grateful!
chelsey said…
Ah, the warehouse. What would we have done without good ol' Joe Thurman? I have strange feelings about that place. Everytime we drive to my in-laws, I see it and don't know what to make of my feelings. I can't begin to imagine mom and dad's. I was old enough to know we didn't have a house and understand the uncertainty of it all. I know mom and dad were worried sick all the time and it was a VERY stressful time for them. Adam, Jess, and I used to retreat into the giant garage and sneak into our piano to play for a while. I think that was a little refuge for us. All that music echoing in there..
We should all remember the magnitude of that memory-- not just the difficult and hard parts, but what we learned from it all. And hopefully, we did learn something -- each of us. Thanks for the post.
Ange said…
That was such a beautiful post and it makes me reflect on my own mom. It's a good way to put things in perspective, especially being a mother now.

Also, I remember when your family lived in the warehouse. We visited you there a few times. For some reason, I distincly remember one of those visits. Chelsey was standing at a window, looking out and playing a beautiful, meloncholy song on her flute. Younger kids were running around, playing. I can picture your mom talking with my mom and remember her looking a little frazzled. In my 10 year old head, I thought, "This could be a hard time for this family, but look how happy they are. Look at them helping each other and loving each other." Crazy how this has stuck with me, but I think it just really impressed me. Anyway, sorry for jumping on your sentimenal bandwagon. :)

Angela
Lindsey, I do remember some cool things about the warehouse. I remember someone hunting and bringing a deer back to skin. I thought that was gross. I also remember that the ward threw mom a baby shower and she was so grateful and I remember her bringin home the packages and I thought it was so cool.

Jason, I hope you are right. I know I am not as good as some people at not complaining but we tried as hard as we could to make moving an adventure for them. I really want them to have the kind of memories Mike has of moving rather than the memories I have of moving. Mike really liked it.

Brooke, It's nice to have some military friends because I know you understand what it is like to move and the stress it is.

Amy, I really loved being in that ward as a kid. I have such good memories of you, Jennifer, Andrea, Angela, etc. We had some good times! I will always remember camp. I hated girls camp in Utah but I loved, loved girls camp in Indiana wth you all.

Jess, we do have it good now don't we?

Chelsey, I have learned so many good lessons from that move and others. I really feel like it has contributed in a large part to who I am. I hope I can teach my kids the lessons I have learned. Namely, they are so blessed and they shouldn't take for grated the things they have and the security they have and the unity of a family.

Angela, thank you for sharing that memory with me. It is nice to hear from an outsiders point of view how things were like, you know? I love that you recognized that we loved each other and were happy. I really think we did love each other and had a lot of fun growing up together.

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