Elder Holland's talk

We have a lot of nicknames in our house. Mostly for the boys though. There is bubba, Ikie, Weeyum, Nija, Ikie-likey, Mr. Isaac, Mr. William, Mr. Eli, midget folk, just to name a few. All of our boys names have some kind of significance, though we didn't necessarily mean for it to be that way.

We couldn't agree on William's name. Someday we might have another kid, and someday we might have a girl. If we do, we will have a lot easier time agreeing on a girl name than a boy name. Mike liked William and I didn't. I thought it was too old sounding. William Thomas is an ancester on Mike's side and if I recall correctly, on my side as well. But the William Thomas on both sides is far back and I don't know anything about them. Were they a good father? Were they kind to their wives? Were they righteous? I did like the name Will though and Thomas is my brothers middle name so I felt there was some kind of connection to something. Isaac's name is really Micheal Isaac. Mike had said he didn't want to name a kid after him so we didn't and then as I was filling out the birth certificate Mike called and said he wanted to name him Micheal Isaac and call him Isaac. So Micheal Isaac it is. Eli's name is Elijah Clark, Clark being my maiden name. We didn't intend to name him after the prophet Elijah but we both love the stories of Elijah and would love for our children to be righteous like Elijah the prophet. So, there is some significance in each name though, not entirely on purpose.

When I was in college I heard a talk about nicknames in the scriptures. I had never thought about this idea before and it struck me then and I think about it often. Peter was called The Rock. Thomas was Doubting Thomas. There are others but those two are pretty good contrasting nicknames. Poor Thomas. My mom called me a doubting Thomas once. I don't think she meant it to hurt me but it did, because I knew she was right in some ways. I struggle with faith quite often. I struggle with believing in the power of prayer. But those are personal struggles and I think we all have them so I don't need to go into too much depth.

Elder Holland's talk made me cry. I have had struggles this past year that were gut wrenching for me. Struggles that brought me to my knees where I cried uncontrollably for the support I felt wasn't there. My trials seem small in comparison to those around me but they are my personal struggles and they stretch me.

Elder Holland gave a talk called An High Priest of Good Things to Come. It is beautiful and speaks such peace to me. In it he says, "No, it is not without a recognition of life's tempests but fully and directly because of them that I testify of God's love and the Savior's power to calm the storm. Always remember in that biblical story that He was out there on the water also, that He faced the worst of it right along with the newest and youngest and most fearful. Only one who has fought against those ominous waves is justified in telling us--as well as the sea--to "be still."8 Only one who has taken the full brunt of such adversity could ever be justified in telling us in such times to "be of good cheer."9 Such counsel is not a jaunty pep talk about the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric, He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe!" I have found great comfort in this quote. When I begin thinking that my trials are small compared to someone else and yet I struggle so deeply with them I think of this quote and remember that it is my struggle and I'm not shallow for struggling with them but that I MUST have faith and I MUST be positive.

Elder Holland gave a similar talk to the one he gave yesterday in 1987 called The Bitter Cup and the Bloody Baptism. It is a talk I have read over and over. Like my brother Jess said, Elder Holland never disappoints. In this talk, he says, "You and I won't ever find ourselves on that cross, but we repeatedly find ourselves at the foot of it. And how we act there will speak volumes about what we think of Christ's character and his call for us to be his disciples."

Yesterday he talked about being a disciple of Christ. He talked about how we are NOT left alone. Those times when I cried to Heavenly Father and asked Him why I couldn't feel Him, I was not showing faith and I was lacking understanding. I know deep down that God is always there and I just need to listen more closely. Elder Holland also talked about sin and that when we sin the Spirit leaves us and it is our choice to be without The Comforter. I hope when I start feeling without support from God that I will ask myself if I need to repent so I can have the comfort and the guidance of the Spirit again.

I have another name I go by. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I have been baptized and made covenants that I will remember Him. I hope that I can be like Peter and that I can have the nickname of a rock rather than a Thomas, though a righteous and good man, lacking faith. Elder Holland said, "God wants us to be stronger than we are--more fixed in our purpose, more certain of our commitments, eventually needing less coddling from him, showing more willingness to shoulder some of the burden of his heavy load. In short, he wants us to be more like he is and, if you haven't noticed, some of us are not like that yet." I hope to be more like He is one day.

I don't often write such personal things on my blog but keep them for my journal but I was thinking about what Elder Holland said about being a disciple and I want to be an outward example of what I believe and who I follow so I wanted to write this for my family, my friends, my children, and anyone else that might happen to find this post and let you all know that I know God lives. I know Jesus Christ is my Savior.