Adorable, but annoying
Will, my non-tantrum throwing child, has changed his tune. He has been throwing some really nice ones this past week. He is screaming loud enough to wake both his brothers up. To which I say, "Oh no you didn't." Aside from his tantrums, he was crazy crazy at church yesterday. He has been throwing his tantrums when I turn the TV off. So, this week is a no TV week. I made a video of his tantrum. I made it so he could hear himself. I thought he might need to understand why he got locked in my room and spanked. I'm feeling sad for Isaac because his grandma Richards just sent him two new movies for his birthday--the first Disney movies we've owned--and now he doesn't get to watch them until next week because of Will. Wish me luck. Hopefully I won't give in.
Isaac is getting tubes in his ears on Friday. I am hoping it all goes well. Here is a picture of him after he jammed his straw up his eye.
Mike has changed his career path again. He has felt strongly that he needs to apply for a teaching position at the Air Force academy. He will get a degree in mechanical engineering in Ohio and then owes four years teaching at the academy in Colorado. He will fly to Colorado soon for an interview. He is still planning on doing the Olmsted scholarship but that will wait until after the teaching position is over. 
Mike has found a new way to multi-task. I told him this is why people say bottle feeding isn't as good for bonding as breastfeeding. Oh, and he wants a Wii. He has been wanting to let everyone know that he is Wiisearching. Silly Mikey.
Mike has found a new way to multi-task. I told him this is why people say bottle feeding isn't as good for bonding as breastfeeding. Oh, and he wants a Wii. He has been wanting to let everyone know that he is Wiisearching. Silly Mikey. Eli is rolling over consistently now. He is rolling over in his sleep and it wakes him up. He still isn't very good at getting from his back to his tummy--he gets to his side and can't quite make it the full way. Anyway, it annoys him and won't go back to sleep. He's been waking up at 5:40, which is annoying me because then he wakes up Isaac, who then wakes up Will. Grrrrrr.
I am obsessed with losing weight right now, which is unfortunate since I haven't lost a pound in three months. It has made me completely depressed. Mike says I just have to stop thinking about it and avoid it like I would anything else I were addicted too. If I were addicted to drugs I would avoid people and places that had drugs. I can't avoid this though. It is there when I look in the mirror, when I take a shower, when people ask me when I am due, when Will asks me why I have another baby in my tummy, when I walk by windows, when I try and put on clothes, when I go to the YMCA, when I make meals for my family. Pretty much everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of my weight. I used to have an itty-bitty, size 2 body and I really didn't understand what it meant to not be able to lose weight. I do now. I see myself clearly. I'm not obese but I am overweight. Even working out five days a week for an hour and cutting calories, I still haven't lost a pound. I love to exercise and it is the only time I have to myself besides showering. But I really feel that my life is overly stressed right now and I have to let go of something. I think that I just need to become comfortable with who I am right now and when life calms down a little I can focus more on my weight. Anyway, Mike keeps laughing at me and calling me a teenager because my earphones are always in my ears. I told him it's been a long time since I've listened to music and music is the quickest way for me to be happy. I have to get out of this slump. So, I'm including a list of my favorite music of late. 
Comments
Mike is funny! Wiisearching!! We would like one too, but it is at the way bottom of our wish list. Good luck with the interview Mike.
I'm sorry about the whole body thing! I wish it was easier to be happy with ourselves, but it's not. I was all set to go out running today, after months of no exercise, and woke up to find it pouring rain!! Oh, well, maybe tomorrow.
It's helped me to have daughters. I can't say I'm fat around them. I can't complain about my body. It's more important to me that they have good body images than that I get to let off steam about my frustrations. And it helps me to be more healthy (mentally) to have to rephrase, like:
We can't have ice cream because we want to be healthy.
or
We need to go to the gym so mommy can be healthy.
---
Of course I'm not saying you shouldn't express exactly how you feel on your blog -- that's what blogs are for!!! I just mean that we (or at least I) gotta think in terms of health rather than size.
And if you're exercising that much and counting calories, you know you're getting healthier. If you still can't lose weight that you think is making you unhealthy, I'd maybe get your hormones or thyroid checked out, although really it could just be your body still in pregnancy-fear-of-famine mode.
Also, we're all getting older. And that's better than the alternative.
Love your posts! (Oh, and in Mike's defense, I almost-always multitask while breastfeeding -- I can even type, change diapers, and make dinner -- kind of :)
Sorry to write a novel, but your post sure spoke my language!
My only advice is that you should take a break and stop stressing about it, even if it is just a few days. Tell yourself that you are only going to exercise because you want to, and you are not going to worry about what you eat. Let yourself just be normal for a few days.
That having been said, I started Body for Life again today. I just need to tone up and get my eating back under control. I have a really hard time going at dieting on my own. I do MUCH better when I can read a book and follow someone else's advice.
Good-luck. I think you look great! You have such a beautiful smile that just lights up your whole face.
As for losing weight, I understand what it's like to be obsessed with your weight, even though you don't want to be.
I hear you girl!
I was just telling my husband the other day that I thought you looked great in those family photos of you guys. I know that you don't feel it- but you can at least know that others don't see you the same way you see yourself right now.
I remember a wise mom telling me that if it took 9 months for your body to get there, it'll take another 9 months for it to go back to normal (if you are exercising and eating well as you sound like you are). My sister Brandy, who has a similar build as yours said the same thing- she couldn't lose any weight for 8 months, then boom! in the eighth month, the pounds started to shed (and this was after her 5th kid).
About the tantrums- I'm definitely not there yet, but I have to echo what lisa mentioned in her comment about the book Parenting with Love and Logic. Ironically, I just picked up that book today and have started reading it. It's a great book! I picked it up because that was the philosophy I employed as a teacher and it worked beautifully with my students. I suppose I'll see how it works with my kids now- but what it says makes sense.
I can't believe Isaac is so big! And look at Eli! He's ginormous compared to how itty Isaac was! And yay for tubes! I bet that will help. I'll be thinking about you on Friday. :)