Table meet Isaac, Isaac meet table...
Isaac has started his separation anxiety stage. It makes sense that he would feel somewhat anxious at the thought of me leaving him alone because he gets hurt when I am not around. Today he was playing in the laundry basket and reached over to grab our table only to tip over the basket and smack his lip on the edge of the table. Very sad. His lip stayed swollen for hours...hopefully it will be better tomorrow.
Anyway, there are a few other things I want to blog about today, rant about really. I should preface the following by saying that I am fully aware that my life is not as difficult or as busy as probably most of the world, that I am grateful for a calling, a visiting teaching assignment, and a husband that is devoted to the church. However, I still want to rant.
Yesterday was a rotten day during Sacrament. I believe that it is important for kids to learn to be reverent and don't believe the solution to bad behavior is to let them run in the hallway the entire meeting. Up to this point, I have tried to keep them reverent during the meeting and then take them out briefly until they calm down, then return to the chapel. I might rethink that philosophy soon though because I got so sick of taking both boys out to the hallway to calm them down that I finally gave up and stayed with them outside the chapel. I am sure many people gave a sigh of relief. One of the issues is that if Isaac needs to nurse, one of the boys has a poopy diaper, or one of them is screaming, I have to take both boys out. grrrr. Mike walked back to me and the boys after the meeting and laughed, which got a response of, "It's not funny. It's only funny to you because you get to sit in the front and watch it all. If you were the one dealing with it, you wouldn't think it was too funny." Anyway, the meeting ended with me almost being in tears and many people probably feeling a mixture of annoyance and sympathy for me. I was thinking about my plight yesterday after church and realized that in two and a half years (since I was three months pregnant with Will) Mike has only sat by me during church for six of those months. I'm not sure how my mother did that with five (six, seven? clarify that for me, mom) kids when Dad was Bishop. What a nightmare.
The final rant is also church related. I went eight months in this ward without ever being assigned a visiting teaching route. I didn't have any friends and really disliked the ward so I wanted an assignment. I finally got one and had four people to visit. My partner was inactive so I went alone. The good thing about that is that I was able to make the appointments whenever and take the boys with me. I just got a new assignment--six feakin' people!!! You might ask if everyone has that many people. No. It seems like most have three or four. Mike and I were just talking to a women in the ward on Sunday who said she doesn't have any people to visit because the Relief Society President asked her if she wanted to be released as a visiting teacher. What? I have a strong testimony in visiting teaching. I have made a lot of friends this way and have been taken care of by my visiting teachers many times. I am frustrated because I don't know how it is possible for me to be a very effective visiting teacher when there are six women to see. Again, I am thankful for an assignment, and I know I am not the busiest women in the world, but I am a mother of two small children whose husband is in the bishopric and gone very often. I would like to see him occasionally and have a few restful nights of the month. It is interesting how things seem to fall into your life and then you wonder months later why you thought your life was so busy before. You get better at prioritizing and more efficient in your responsibilities. I'm sure that will happen with this assignment as well.
Anyway, there are a few other things I want to blog about today, rant about really. I should preface the following by saying that I am fully aware that my life is not as difficult or as busy as probably most of the world, that I am grateful for a calling, a visiting teaching assignment, and a husband that is devoted to the church. However, I still want to rant.
Yesterday was a rotten day during Sacrament. I believe that it is important for kids to learn to be reverent and don't believe the solution to bad behavior is to let them run in the hallway the entire meeting. Up to this point, I have tried to keep them reverent during the meeting and then take them out briefly until they calm down, then return to the chapel. I might rethink that philosophy soon though because I got so sick of taking both boys out to the hallway to calm them down that I finally gave up and stayed with them outside the chapel. I am sure many people gave a sigh of relief. One of the issues is that if Isaac needs to nurse, one of the boys has a poopy diaper, or one of them is screaming, I have to take both boys out. grrrr. Mike walked back to me and the boys after the meeting and laughed, which got a response of, "It's not funny. It's only funny to you because you get to sit in the front and watch it all. If you were the one dealing with it, you wouldn't think it was too funny." Anyway, the meeting ended with me almost being in tears and many people probably feeling a mixture of annoyance and sympathy for me. I was thinking about my plight yesterday after church and realized that in two and a half years (since I was three months pregnant with Will) Mike has only sat by me during church for six of those months. I'm not sure how my mother did that with five (six, seven? clarify that for me, mom) kids when Dad was Bishop. What a nightmare.
The final rant is also church related. I went eight months in this ward without ever being assigned a visiting teaching route. I didn't have any friends and really disliked the ward so I wanted an assignment. I finally got one and had four people to visit. My partner was inactive so I went alone. The good thing about that is that I was able to make the appointments whenever and take the boys with me. I just got a new assignment--six feakin' people!!! You might ask if everyone has that many people. No. It seems like most have three or four. Mike and I were just talking to a women in the ward on Sunday who said she doesn't have any people to visit because the Relief Society President asked her if she wanted to be released as a visiting teacher. What? I have a strong testimony in visiting teaching. I have made a lot of friends this way and have been taken care of by my visiting teachers many times. I am frustrated because I don't know how it is possible for me to be a very effective visiting teacher when there are six women to see. Again, I am thankful for an assignment, and I know I am not the busiest women in the world, but I am a mother of two small children whose husband is in the bishopric and gone very often. I would like to see him occasionally and have a few restful nights of the month. It is interesting how things seem to fall into your life and then you wonder months later why you thought your life was so busy before. You get better at prioritizing and more efficient in your responsibilities. I'm sure that will happen with this assignment as well.
Ok, I'm all done ranting.
Comments
The key to this, as I have told you before, Adrianne, is to get someone else to sit with you. We found an elderly couple in Indiana (first time we lived there) and Jason adopted them as "Grandma and Grandpa." Sometimes they are willing and happy to sit by small children. Nancy Flack came to our rescue and became the older sister. I wouldn't let her take the kids out because she needed to be in the meeting, but at least someone was with the quieter ones while I took the rowdies out. Ask somebody to help! Don't be proud. Too many people forget to look around to see if anyone needs help. We became great friends with the Flacks because Sister Flack saw that we needed help and offered her daughter. And none of you were so awful that Nancy hated it. She remains a great friend to this day.
I feel your pain! :) Know that you are definitely not alone.
I did one Sunday with all three kids and no Jason and no grandparents. It was horrendous! I never, ever want to try that again!
love ya tons
katy bug
love ya tons
katy bug
Jess
this is Shannon (Marcy's sister) and I hope you don't mind my commenting (and reading your post, for that matter--your blog is listed on hers, and i was bored).
i just appreciate your honesty. church is sometimes (often?) tough, and to say so isn't to say anything negative about the gospel.
i encourage you to nurse in the chapel. that's what i do. otherwise i'd be taking all three kids out, and my 6 1/2 year old needs to listen (or at least get used to sitting there).
getting people to help is a great idea, but not one i've had any luck with yet. my (problem) middle child got really upset when someone held the baby. she shouted, "give back Lucy Goosey," three times, really loudly. this was 5 minutes after she tried to push the baby off my lap so i could hold her.
and when another lady offered to hold Callie on her lap, Callie shouted, No, again at the top of her lungs.
so, good luck, and let me know what works (besides fruit snacks and coloring books:)).
We would inevitably sit behind someone with a major treat bag (cookies, fruit snacks, candy) that my girls would drool over; the kids would usually end up sharing with our girls even when I didn't want them to. You can control what you take to the meeting--not what other people bring that your kids want! The craziest thing someone brought to church was a roll--a roll that crumbled everywhere, the biggest mess. That's my biggest pet peeve. We are supposed to help keep the chapel clean--why do people bring the crumbliest food for their kids?
Sorry to rant so much on your blog.
Some things that have helped us when our kids were young: I made a quiet book for our girls and only brought it out during church. For babies old enough to grab things I would take a little cosmetics bag and fill it with small odds and ends like chapstick, small lotion bottle, small toys. My girls loved to take the things out of the bag and then put them all back in and figure out how to unzip it after I'd zipped it up. Then they'd start all over again.
For girls: I made bracelets for Olivia, when she was young, out of craft beads. She would put them all on her arm and then take them all off and do that over and over.
I have always hunted for good church activities. You can make lace-up cards really easily by laminating pictures and punching holes in them--lace them up with a shoelace.
All in all, good luck! I usually have my husband with me so I don't know quite how hard it is for you, but I'm sure you're doing a great job! Let me know what other things work for you!
Jessie, Where are your in-laws moving to?
Shannon, Welcome to our blog! I check yours out too. It's a fun read! I'll let you know if I think of any good way to keep them quiet.
Marcy, I think Will would enjoy the make-up bag. He loves make-up! I keep trying to teach him that it's just for girls...
I think the most important thing to do is simply PRAY!! Just today, Sarah was getting really antsy and wanted to lay on the floor (which I don't like due to the dress, among other things). I could feel myself losing patience and getting frustrated. I just shut my eyes and prayed that she would see me trying to be quiet and be more reverent herself. Believe it or not-- it worked. She sat up and started to color. It may not work every time, but praying just helps you in your own mindset sometimes. I think that our perspective is sometimes the most important. I know what you're going through so hang in there! Our stake even asked families to stop bring snacks. That makes it harder-- especially when they're little. Like Marci commented -- it's hard when other families do things different than you do. I don't think my kids should bring toys or sit with their friends, and that's hard when all their other friends are sitting together playing. I usually look like a mean mother cracking the whip, but hopefully, in years to come, my kids will have strong testimonies. They won't have to wait until adult life to learn what sacrament is really about. Good luck with it all. Love ya!