Girls are nasty....or, why I'm glad we are having another boy
I was talking on the phone with my sister yesterday and she told me the saddest story about her little six year old. Sarah has wanted to be in cheerleading and Chelsey hasn't felt awesome about letting her do it. Then the other night Sarah is crying in the car and Chelsey asks her what is wrong. Sarah says that she doesn't have any friends and that the girls at her school made her sit with the boys. They told her they didn't have room at their table for her and she had to sit with the boys. They told her she wasn't like them because she hadn't done gymnastics or cheerleading. Good grief! She is six!
As I was listening to my sister and having no good advice to give her, I was reminded of my own experiences with mean friends. When I was about 11 we moved to Walton Indiana. We'd already moved quite a bit by this time so I should have been used to making friends but this experience was awful for me. I had made friends with a group of girls who at the time, I didn't know were the popular girls but soon found out. One day I was in our classroom during recess (it was raining so we had to stay inside). This one girl (we'll call her Tricia) said she was going to try and steal her friend's boyfriend away and a buch of other stuff. On the bus ride home the friend asked me what Tricia had said. A little voice inside me told me not to tell but I was new and wanted my friend to like me so I told her...and then said, "But don't tell anyone I told you." Right.
So, the next day I got to school and wasn't even in the door when a huge herd of girls surrounds me, backs me into a corner, and starts yelling at me. I swear they were going to rip my eyes out. Tricia starts saying I was a liar and they all hated me and I wouldn't have friends anymore. I tell ya, as a little girl, this was so traumatic. For the next month or so I really didn't have any friends. Then I made friends with these two wonderful girls.
One day, I was sitting in gym and two of Tricia's friends told me that they knew I had told the truth because they had heard Tricia say it too but they didn't want to make her mad and that they were sorry. So the truth came out and everyone turned on Tricia. She ended up making friends with the two girls I played with at recess and one day we decided to have a vote to see if she could play with us. We all had to close our eyes and raise a hand if we wanted her to play (Mike pointed out the fault in this plan because how would we know if anyone was raising hands?). I don't know, but we had to close our eyes and vote. And I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't as forgiving as I should have been and cheated by opening my eyes to see if they were raising their hands; they were, so I quickly rose mine.
These same mean girls looked at me one day wearing this old coat (the down filled kind that were popular in like the 60's and then someone decided to bring them back). At the time, these coats were NOT cool to wear. They told me I shouldn't wear it to school anymore because it was ugly. I didn't have another option; it was that coat or none at all. So I lied and told them I liked the coat because it was my grandma's and had sentimental value.
While silly and dramatic now, at the time it was the end of the world and truly wounded my self-esteem. When we moved to Utah it took me a few years to really ever feel comfortable with my friends and trust them and know where I fit in. Eventually, I figured it out but it was a really hard adjustment to make.
My point in telling this story is that girls are NASTY with a capital N!! If this story still doesn't convince you, go to the library and check out the book Odd Girl Out. The whole book is the result of some woman's research about girls and bullying. Haven't you heard of the movie Mean Girls? It's real!
Boys, of course, have their own issues like laughing when they release unwanted air from their bodies. Yes, boys are usually more active and rough. But I'll take issue with anyone that tells me boys aren't as gentle or as calm as girls. Will is calm and sweet and wonderful. Isaac, while not as calm as Will, is also very sweet and gentle. They both are as sweet as can be with babies and love cuddling stuffed animals.
Saying all of this, I understand I'm making a general statement about girls being nasty. I have lots of neices and they are all wonderful and would NEVER act like monster bullies. But I tell ya, I've seen my share of wild, rough girls that are crazier than my boys have ever dreamed of being. I think it probably all comes down to the parents. For one, I can't see my sister Chelsey ever being ok with Sarah acting like that and therefore, as the good parent she is, she will teach Sarah how to treat others with respect and kindness. I'm also sure if I ever have a girl I'll be thrilled and all this will be taken back and I'll write a post about how wonderful my little girl is and how yucky boys are. Until that time I'll just say that I'm so glad to be having another boy and not having to deal with all the girl issues.
As I was listening to my sister and having no good advice to give her, I was reminded of my own experiences with mean friends. When I was about 11 we moved to Walton Indiana. We'd already moved quite a bit by this time so I should have been used to making friends but this experience was awful for me. I had made friends with a group of girls who at the time, I didn't know were the popular girls but soon found out. One day I was in our classroom during recess (it was raining so we had to stay inside). This one girl (we'll call her Tricia) said she was going to try and steal her friend's boyfriend away and a buch of other stuff. On the bus ride home the friend asked me what Tricia had said. A little voice inside me told me not to tell but I was new and wanted my friend to like me so I told her...and then said, "But don't tell anyone I told you." Right.
So, the next day I got to school and wasn't even in the door when a huge herd of girls surrounds me, backs me into a corner, and starts yelling at me. I swear they were going to rip my eyes out. Tricia starts saying I was a liar and they all hated me and I wouldn't have friends anymore. I tell ya, as a little girl, this was so traumatic. For the next month or so I really didn't have any friends. Then I made friends with these two wonderful girls.
One day, I was sitting in gym and two of Tricia's friends told me that they knew I had told the truth because they had heard Tricia say it too but they didn't want to make her mad and that they were sorry. So the truth came out and everyone turned on Tricia. She ended up making friends with the two girls I played with at recess and one day we decided to have a vote to see if she could play with us. We all had to close our eyes and raise a hand if we wanted her to play (Mike pointed out the fault in this plan because how would we know if anyone was raising hands?). I don't know, but we had to close our eyes and vote. And I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't as forgiving as I should have been and cheated by opening my eyes to see if they were raising their hands; they were, so I quickly rose mine.
These same mean girls looked at me one day wearing this old coat (the down filled kind that were popular in like the 60's and then someone decided to bring them back). At the time, these coats were NOT cool to wear. They told me I shouldn't wear it to school anymore because it was ugly. I didn't have another option; it was that coat or none at all. So I lied and told them I liked the coat because it was my grandma's and had sentimental value.
While silly and dramatic now, at the time it was the end of the world and truly wounded my self-esteem. When we moved to Utah it took me a few years to really ever feel comfortable with my friends and trust them and know where I fit in. Eventually, I figured it out but it was a really hard adjustment to make.
My point in telling this story is that girls are NASTY with a capital N!! If this story still doesn't convince you, go to the library and check out the book Odd Girl Out. The whole book is the result of some woman's research about girls and bullying. Haven't you heard of the movie Mean Girls? It's real!
Boys, of course, have their own issues like laughing when they release unwanted air from their bodies. Yes, boys are usually more active and rough. But I'll take issue with anyone that tells me boys aren't as gentle or as calm as girls. Will is calm and sweet and wonderful. Isaac, while not as calm as Will, is also very sweet and gentle. They both are as sweet as can be with babies and love cuddling stuffed animals.
Saying all of this, I understand I'm making a general statement about girls being nasty. I have lots of neices and they are all wonderful and would NEVER act like monster bullies. But I tell ya, I've seen my share of wild, rough girls that are crazier than my boys have ever dreamed of being. I think it probably all comes down to the parents. For one, I can't see my sister Chelsey ever being ok with Sarah acting like that and therefore, as the good parent she is, she will teach Sarah how to treat others with respect and kindness. I'm also sure if I ever have a girl I'll be thrilled and all this will be taken back and I'll write a post about how wonderful my little girl is and how yucky boys are. Until that time I'll just say that I'm so glad to be having another boy and not having to deal with all the girl issues.
Comments
but, you're forgetting that boys are both gross and mean.
Girls and boys both have their good and bad. I was surprised but relieved when I found out I was having my third girl. Being a girl, I feel a lot more comfortable dealing with those issues. (But if I ever did have a boy I would immediately find this post and delete it and then I would run to the store and buy cute little hats for him!)