Laila's grave

Our first Sunday here we drove down to Colorado Springs to visit Laila's grave.  It was weird.  I had been back two and a half years ago and Mike had been back once on a business trip but we had never all been together to her grave since we left and Felicity had never been.  She didn't really understand.  She was very interested in all the flowers and "gifts" that were left on headstones.  We used to come and have picnics and go for walks and it was sad but mostly peaceful.  The boys are too old to go on prairie dog hunts and they were kind of bored I think.  It just felt different.  We finally just sent the kids to the van and then Mike and I stayed behind for a few minutes and both cried.  It's hard to be back where all this happened and recall that this is real and not some story.  It's kind of strange to be back honestly.  Her entire row is filled now.  That is even more strange and sad.  So much sadness in that row of little babies.