Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Life moves on

I get on the blog or facebook and see that life for everyone is still moving on and normal. It just seems all wrong to me. I know that this is our tragedy and ours to deal with but it just seems like I'm living some other life, not my own, and I will wake up to realize it was a really, really bad dream. And yet, our life moves on out of necessity as well. Laila and the love I have for her and the circumstances surrounding her death are too sacred for me to write about on such a public forum. And so, I've decided to write about the majority of my feelings elsewhere. While it seems wrong entirely to post about the every day happenings of our lives, I feel this blog is more appropriate for those types of posts. And I have a lot of posts to catch up on. Even though there is grief to be felt, there are also other events that bring joy and I need to document those things for my family.

6 comments:

Marcy said...

When A. left, my bishop told me that he thought about releasing me from my callings but realized that they would be good for me to continue doing. I guess it can be a tender mercy that we still have work to do when we're grieving. Face-to-face interaction with kind, compassionate, loving people is very important. Love you.

The Duke said...

I feel the same way you do. It seems impossible that we can continue to move on but that's what we must do. I find that I cannot write of my feelings in a public forum except the one excerpt yesterday on the family blog.
I believe that we will all bury our grief through work and activity, for what else is there to do?
I am anxious to be back out there. I hope the Spirit guides me to be appropriate in anything I say or do. I plan to listen a whole bunch.
I love you with all my heart, daughter of mine.

chelsey said...

It must certainly be strange to feel like things just keep moving on while you're still trying to sort through the trial you've just had. I think moving through with school, etc will help your family heal; though there will certainly be times when I'm sure you'll wish time would just stop. I think I would, and no one could ever blame you for that. Hang in there. If you ever need a shoulder give me a call. Love you.

GrumpyJaxMomOf3 said...

I cannot pretend to imagine what you are going through. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for your sweet family. Please try to remember you are not alone. You were chosen to be the mother of a perfect little girl. I know that won't make it any easier, but at least you know you will get to see her again.

Kristi, Liezl, Quincy, Ava, and Josh said...

I have had a hard time letting myself enjoy this past week - I felt guilty, so I can only imagine the range of emotions you are going through. Hang in there and find a time to smile.

Jess and Jason said...

I am still so sad for you! My heart aches for your loss. For all of us, but none of us have lost to the extent that you have. I love you and pray for you often.